The sun-drenched pool at Carnelian Woods Condos looked inviting. Tahoe’s thin mountain air was warm, and the water felt like silk. Stu (my partner and a spiritual mentor) and I had already hiked down to Emerald Bay and back up in the scorching sun, eaten Indian lunch buffet at Nicky’s, bicycled along the Truckee River, and had hot fudge sundaes, twice. Drying off in the sun after a dip in the pool, I reflected on our lives over the past…..
Marina and Nick (not their real names) came to my support group at hospice every week for several months after their three-month-old baby died of a severe birth defect. Although Nick was philosophical about the loss, he was able to feel and express his grief each week during the sessions, which he said was helpful in coming to an acceptance. Marina’s process was different. She seemed perpetually angry— “It shouldn’t have happened. We did everything right.” She compared herself to…..
Do you have people in your life who are catalysts for your growth? There is a story about this I heard years ago that has stuck with me. It was told by the Buddhist teacher, Pema Chodron, about a Buddhist monk from Bengal who was traveling to Tibet. As I remember it, he insisted on bringing his Bengali tea boy with him. People wondered why, since there were plenty of tea boys in Tibet. He told them his tea boy…..
Several years ago, Stu and I lived in a small town that was home to a number of people who thought of themselves as quite spiritual and otherworldly. Overhearing conversations around town was interesting. Once at a restaurant, we heard two young men sitting at the bar talking. “Where are you from?” one asked casually. Reply (in a mysterious tone): “I’m not from anywhere. I’ve always been here.” Questioner: “No, but really, where did you come from?” Reply: “I come…..
“There is only one you, it is truer than true. No one on earth is more youer than you.” –Dr. Seuss When Katharine (not her real name) came to my office for counseling, she presented me with a list of things she wanted to change about herself. She was a screenwriter and was experiencing writer’s block. She felt insecure about her abilities as a writer, and her insecurities spilled over into other areas of her life. She was unhappy with…..
Things don’t always go according to plan in small and big ways in our lives. We are constantly derailed, whether it’s the barista making the wrong drink at Starbucks or our retirement plans going awry through illness or death. Our ability to be present with ‘what is’ is the only predictable thing in our unpredictable, constantly changing lives. One of my clients at hospice brought this reality into clear focus for me. Jerry’s daughter Jeannie (not their real names), brought…..
One Sunday morning, Stu and I decided to take the scenic drive from Waimea to Hilo for lunch. As we drove between the two massive mountains, Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa, I began to feel more alive and awake. “Living on the island sometimes feels like living in another dimension,” I commented. The famous Hawaiian singer, Israel “Iz” Kamakawiwo’ole, who died young, once said the veil between life and death, heaven and earth, is more transparent here in Hawaii. We…..
“Nothing’s gonna change my world…” This line from the John Lennon song, “Across the Universe,” suddenly had new meaning when I was listening to it the other day with a friend who told me it was written after the Beatles met with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and had some spiritual experiences. Experiencing “nothing”–meaning the void, emptiness, silence–is going to change his world. This brings me to the topic for the week–nothing. I saw a video recently of a talk by David…..
The summer heat in Arizona was at its peak as extended family gathered together to celebrate Grandma Perry’s hundredth birthday. True to form, she fully enjoyed being the center of attention in her bright red dress with an over-sized, white lace collar. She had been quite sickly early in her life and had almost died in her thirties, but she had gone on to live a full and healthy, not to mention long, life. It seemed to all of us…..
Here in Hawaii, many people are living off the grid. They have opted to jump off the treadmill of their lives on the mainland and live the ultimate simple existence. For some I have met, they woke up to the fact they had been driving themselves into the ground just to support their upscale lifestyle, selling their souls to a stressful and unfulfilling career. When they asked themselves if it was worth it, they found the answer was no. We…..
